Capoeira and well...Stuff :-)


So I know I haven't written in almost a month...and I don't really have any excuses except that whenever I did have free time my roommate was on my comp frantically writting papers.

So to update:

Welllllll, a few weeks ago I had my first test for capoeira. I am now a green belt. Haha I'm not really sure what that means only that I am a beginner. It's the first belt. And it's not really a belt either, it's rope that you tie around your waist. But whatever, it was really cool. We had the graduation at Tec de Monterry which is a really nice university here in GDL. And all the students under Cirino were there, and there were quite a few. ( Cirino is this really dark Brazilian guy who is kind of like the master teacher who oversees all his smaller schools) We all participated in something called a Roda which is when all the players form a circle and two people play/dance/fight in the middle. Everybody had to fight with one of the guest masters that was there in order to receive their belt. If I can figure out how to put up videos I will put videos and of course pictures.



What else? ... This is my problem when I don't write often; I forget what has happened. I had a birthday party at my house at the beginning of Nov. I was a bit disappointed with the turnout. All my friends promised me they were going to come and maybe about 10 actually came. I was pretty upset with people for awhile. The party was ok, just a lot calmer than out previous one. Needless to say the police didn't even show up to this one.

Oh yes. I have met someone. Her name is Grace and like I have told many of you she's great. Doesn't smoke, isn't obese, likes to exercise, and unlike so many Mexicans doesn't live with her parents. Needless to say, she is a rarity among Mexican lesbians and come to think of it, lesbians in general. So besides her preliminary assests, she's really smart and has a job AND doesn't speak English. I think she's a keeper (so far at least). Crazy hasn't even seemed to begin to sprout. OH! and she is out to her parents. I think I am still in shock the more I think about this one because these things just don't seem to happen very often in this country. To illustrate, the reason, as I have come to learn, that there are so many gay bars around here is that gay people can't be gay in their houses. And they can't be gay in their houses because most people live with they Catholic, Bible-toting parents. Sad. Watching the interaction between her and her mom intrigues me. Grace has explained to me that while she does not have conversations directly with her mom about her girlfriends, her mom knows that I am her girlfriend. There is a certain unspoken respect for eachother's space that takes place. For instance, whenever I come to Grace's apartment and her mom is there, she makes sure to leave promptly and Grace makes sure that there is no display of affection between us while we are in her presence. So interesting.

There are so many things I am discovering in this country especially surrounding the lives of gay people. For example, there is no way you can actually be out at work. I don't know a single person who is out at work. I know a lot of gay people here too and everyone is like deathly afraid of anyone finding out they are gay here. I find this particularly funny because for many people there is no mistaking it. I mean seriously, you can smell gay on these people from a mile away. But there seems to be this necessary silence surrounding your sexuality if you don't happen to be hetero/machismo-sexual. Those of you who know me, know how much of a problem this is for me. I do not enjoy being in the closet or made to feel like I need to be there. And yet, here I find myself adapting to the codes and silence my friends adhere to and recommend. I mean am out at my company but at the businesses they send me to, it's a different story. I've heard stories where students just ask for new teachers or all of the sudden want to change times. So interesting how keeping you job all of sudden becomes more important than being free to exist as you are. I hate it. If anything, my experience makes me appreciate the US more. At least there, while far, and I do mean FAR, from perfect, there are some protections and at least conversation. People talk about sexuality on some level in a public arena. Here it seems forbidden. But then again, maybe I'm just not understanding people...Somehow though, I doubt it.

There is something about actually being in relationship that seems to amplify the effects heterosexism/homophobia. It's like all the sudden everything becomes much more real, more immediate. When you're single, you don't have anyone to talk about when everyone is telling you stories about their boyfriends or girlfriends so you have no choice but to be silent. But when you are actually in a relationship, that silence become defning. And there are so many little things that bother me. Well, little things that straight people take for granted all the time, ESPECIALLY HERE. For instance, the whole making out phenomenon in parks, street corners, buses, anywhere basically, is strictly a heterosexual practice. Gay people are restricted to "gay" establishments only, while straight people can frequent which ever clubs they choose doing whatever they like with no harrassment. We can hardly go to a restaurant or bar without some guy hitting her, even when it's obivous that we are together and neither one of us interested. Also, apparently people yell slurs at us in the street all the time. Grace usually tells me what the people said after we have passed them. They are just lucky I don't understand...yet. Grace constantly reminds me that we are not in the US and that it's different here. And I know this. I just find it hard to be forced to return to a place I spent a great deal of time trying to escape--the closet--in any aspect of my life.

Another thing I have noticed so far in my fledging relationship with a very light-skinned Mexican woman, is the apparent unimportance of race. I have never felt this before. It's like it's just not an issue. She is actually the first person I've met who doesn't call me "morena" (it's like dark girl), or constantly tell me how dark I am (which when I think of my Dad and sister, I find pretty funny). In all my other relationships, which have been with other people of color, race has always an underlying issues. Even when i dated guys, I dated Black guys, because that's what Black girls are supposed to do. My previous girlfriends have all been biracial (by chance...well more o r less--that's another story) and the issue of race popped up all the time. It was more of a matter how we were planning to navigate our lives living in a racist society with both of is coming from different racial backgrounds. I'm not sure with Grace, if it's a matter of ignorance, inexperience, or if it just doesn't really matter. Mexico is most certainly a racist country and so I am interested to how things will continue to develop concerning this with her. But so far, I have to say it nice to only have to deal with two oppressions at a time instead of three. Race is a really heavy one too. So, for right now I am enjoying a reprieve if only a slight one.


This is my with my teacher-we call him Bigode which means mustache or something like that. hahah

This is Cirino and Me